Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 4 - 10, 2007
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TECHNOLOGY
Microsoft Introduces Coffee Table Computer
When software freezes up it serves as great place to put stuff.
 
BOOKS
Top 5 Best-Sellers:
 
  1. Hillary: Devil or Satan
  2. Hillary Clinton is a Big Fat Idiot
  3. Hillary Clinton: The Anti-Christ?
  4. The Vast Clinton Conspiracy
  5. And Chelsea Stinks Too
 
SPORTS
NBA: Bryant Fed Up With Lakers
Trades them to Minnesota for Timberwolves.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Karl Rove has violated an important federal law which is also the answer to this puzzle! Can you guess what it is?

Across (five letters) What eggs do to become little birdies.
Down (three letters) What actors do.

Solution:

H A T C H
  C      
  T      
The TV station whose license was not renewed by Hugo Chavez, causing protests around the world:
A ) has won international journalism awards for its even-handed coverage of politics in Venezuela.
B ) is widely respected for in-depth reporting of current events affecting citizens of the Lost City of Atlantis.
C ) preempted regular programs for two days prior to the coup attempt against the democratically elected government in 2002 in order to broadcast wall-to-wall calls for Chavez to be removed, refused to show thousands of his supporters who poured into the streets to demand his return, and sent its owner to pledge support for the coup-installed dictator who had eliminated the Supreme Court, the National Assembly and the Constitution.
Hint: that guy Chavez sure can bear a grudge.

The U.S. government is exerting enormous pressure on the Iraqi parliament to pass a law regarding the disposition of the nation’s oil riches which would:
A ) fairly distribute the wealth between Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds living in different regions.
B ) even-handedly apportion the windfall among competing interests located on Mars, Pluto and Venus.
C ) Give 81% of Iraqi oil to multi-national oil companies.
Hint: our invasion was originally code-named Operation Iraqi Liberation.

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