Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 11 - 17, 2007
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NEW PRODUCTS
A Diamond-Encrusted Skull for That Special Someone
Sure, she can't wear it, but what woman can resist diamonds, in this case thousands of 'em! They're glued on real good, so forget about picking one off to pay down the mortgage. $1 million (less when purchased in bulk) at Baubles, Bangles and Bones.
 
SPORTS
Barry Bonds Closes in on Aaron
To the delight of fans everywhere.
TV Video Introducing Logo for
London Olympic Games
Triggers 23 Seizures in Epileptics

It's an Olympic record for logo introductions.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Unseen Lincoln Memo Discovered in National Archives
Note to speechwriter asks him to “come up with something snappy for Gettysburg.”
FEATURE
In Diyala province, U.S. troops are being attacked by diverse groups, including ex-members of Saddam’s military, foreign-led Al Qaeda forces and various Shiite militias. So the enemy is:
  A )the nationalists.
  B )the terrorists.
  C )the freedom-haters.
  D )the freedom-lovers.
  E )us.
 
FACTOID
20% Take Laptop With Them on Vacation
Combining business with divorce.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Lucky Photographer Captures Parking Garage Full of Naked People
“I was just passing by,” he says of chance snapshot.

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