Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 25 - JULY 1, 2007
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TRAVEL
European Aviation Agency Approves Use of Cellphones on Planes
Also approves boomboxes, air horns, cowbells.
Ripley's Odditorium Opens in New York
Typical visitor (right) calls new exhibit “pretty interesting.”
 
REAL ESTATE
Treasury Secretary Says Housing Slump Near End
Hopes to lure new players into hard-hit Ponzi scheme.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
1704 Note by Isaac Newton Predicts World Will End in 2060
Made prediction after falling on his head.
1957 Plymouth Unearthed in Oklahoma
Still meets CAFE standards.
NEW PRODUCTS
Helmet Lets Brain Control Objects Without Physically Touching Them
Perfect for when your hands are full and you need to change channels, but the remote's under the couch.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Bad News: Sharp Decline in Bird Population
Good news: statues never looked so good.
 
INTERNET
Conservatives Launch
Conservapedia to Counter
“Liberal Bias” of Wikipedia

Yet another project mulled by group of scholars envisions something they call Encyclopedia, which would, in their words, “gather factual information about a variety of subjects and arrange them in alphabetical order.”
 
POLLS
Latest Polls Rank Congress Even Lower Than Bush
But way above Cheney.

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