Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 9 - 15, 2007
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CONSUMER ALERT
All Dolphin-Like Sports Vehicles Recalled
Following users' complaints of being swallowed by whales.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Japanese Man Recites Pi
To 100,000 Places

American man delivers pizza to 100,000 places.
Study: Key to Good Marriage
Is Sharing Housework

And not hiring a French maid.
 
SPORTS
MLB Licenses Logos
For Caskets, Urns

Also catching on: tailgate funerals.
American Wins Hot Dog Eating Title
Restores pride in country that has suffered so many recent setbacks.
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story
Just Fill In the Blanks


The White House has asserted that President Bush does not need statutory authority to ____-___ because he has the power to do it in his role as ________. However, even though he doesn't need it, Congress gave him statutory authority to _____ under the _____ Act. While the ____ Act doesn't specifically mention _____, White House lawyers insist that it was implied, an interpretation which would surely be upheld by the _____ Court, which doesn't really have authority to interpret this law, if they don't agree with the President. As for the ___ Act, which appears to prohibit the President from ____ing ____, it doesn't really prohibit that because the President said that it didn't in his ________. Also, the President can _____ for reasons which can't be made public due to _______.
 
POLL
Bush Still Slightly Less Unpopular Than Nixon
As for Cheney-Agnew, it's “too close to call.”

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