Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2007
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PEOPLE
Carlos Slim of Mexico Now World's Richest Man
After high stakes game of Indian poker with Bill Gates, Warren Buffett.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
CBS to Televise Video Game Competitions
Network hopes show convinces people who love playing video games to shut them off and watch other people play them.
 
BUSINESS
FDA Plans to Close More of
Its Food Testing Labs

To punish them for being unable to protect current food supplies.
66% of Wall Street Analysts Get Favors From Firms They Cover
Helps explain why two-thirds of Wall Street analysts' recommendations are “buy.”
PepsiCo's Aquafina Bottled Water Label Will Admit Source Is Tap Water
New logo will replace snow-capped mountains with rusty pipe.
SCIENCE
Shocker: Study Proves Men
Talk as Much as Women

They just don't talk much to their wives.
U.S. Workers Waste About 20% of
Work Day According to Study
Study had to be completed overseas.
 
40,000-Year-Old Baby Mammoth Discovered In Russian Tundra
Will be auctioned on eBay.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Obesity Is Contagious
If you're fat, try not to sneeze.
Study: Lower Cholesterol May
Increase Risk of Cancer

But you'll look great at your funeral.
 
CORRECTION
 
The people in the picture to the left were identified as unannounced Republican Presidential candidate Fred Thompson and his granddaughter. It is in fact Fred Thompson and his wife. We apologize for any confusion.

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