Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 13 - 19, 2007
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PEOPLE
Prince Harry on Campaign to Improve Image
Begins by granting cover stories to magazines (right).
Revealed: Hitler's Secret Music Collection by Mostly Russian, Jewish Artists
Favorite song: “My Yiddishe Mama.”
 
MEDIA
In Cost-Cutting Move, NY Times
Reduces Size of Pages

New motto: Al th nws thts ft t prnt.
White House Unveils New Press Briefing Room
Among additions: blue smoke and mirrors.
 
BUSINESS
Despite Downturn, Many Put Homes On Market
Especially those in foreclosure.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Cashews Trigger Worse Allergic Reaction than Peanuts
And don't even ask about Brazil nuts.
Study: More Than Three Cups
Of Coffee a Day Slows Memory
Loss for Women

Men already hiding coffee makers.
 
Study: Diet Linked to Heart Danger
American's typical lunch of Big Mac with cheese, supersized fries, diet Coke may not be healthy.
 
SCIENCE
Surprise: Homo Erectus, Knuckle-
Draggers Lived at Same Time

Much like today.
Art, Writing From Late 3rd Century B.C. Found In Middle Asia
Will be converted to text messages so modern experts can analyze it.
Scientists Revivify Antarctic DNA Frozen for 8 Million Years
Hope to analyze it before horror movie based on project is released.

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