Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 20 - 26, 2007
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PEOPLE
Rumsfeld Shopping Autobiography to Lukewarm Publishers
Book covers every major event in his life up to but not including Iraq.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
CBS Settles With Imus
He'll replace Katie Couric on evening news.
If He Runs, NBC Won't Air
“Law and Order” Episodes
Featuring Fred Thompson

ABC already stopped airing episodes of “So You Think You Can Dance” featuring Dennis Kucinich.
 
BUSINESS
Markets Make “Slight Correction”
Price of stocks too high, apples too low.
KFC Opens 6000th U.S. Location
In Roswell, New Mexico.
SCIENCE
Pair of German Physicists Claim to Have Broken Speed of Light
Now they're nowhere to be found.
Scientists Discover Reason for Contagious Yawning
Soccer.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Modern Living Blamed for
Sharp Rise in Cancer

Follows sharp drop in being devoured by predators.
Poll: 94% of Americans Say
They're “Happy”

Same percentage say they're “on tranquilizers.”
Government Says Avandia
Should Stay on the Market

To lower risk of heart attack for GlaxoSmithKline officers, stockholders.
 
CORRECTION
 
In our story on the recent survey of daily newspapers' published corrections, we said that 98% of all errors were corrected, when in fact 98% of all errors went uncorrected. We apologize for any confusion.

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