Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 27 - SEPT 2, 2007
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PEOPLE
Camilla Won't Attend Diana Memorial
She has a dentist appointment.
Nicole Ritchie Goes to Jail for 82 Minutes
Sentence reduced by eight minutes for good behavior.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: Fall Season Almost Here
Viewers can't wait to see dozens of new shows before they're cancelled.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Almost Everything We Eat, Wear or Use Comes From China
Exception: chopsticks.
Microsoft to Launch Next-Generation Operating System for Wireless Devices
Anxiously awaited by next generation of hackers.
McDonald's Marks 40 Years of Big Macs
Plans memorial wall inscribed with names of everyone who has died from eating them.
SCIENCE
Astronomers Find Huge One-Billion- Light-Year-Wide Hole in Universe
White House blames Clinton.
Deer Hunting May Be Dangerous for Men Who Are Smokers or Overweight
Also for deer who are non-smokers and in best of health.
 
 
Out-of-Body Experience Induced in Lab
Also out-of-town experience, out-to-lunch experience.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Obesity May Be Caused By Common
Virus, Vaccine Possible

Announcement made at McDonald’s.
Study: People Underestimate Their
Ability to Survive Breakups

Most do recover, following brief stay down at the end of Lonely Street, at Heartbreak Hotel.
 
EDUCATION
Study: Reading Skills Of Young Males
Improve More When Tutor Is Woman

Confirming Van Halen's “Hot for Teacher” hypothesis.

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