Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 27 - SEPT 2, 2007
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CONSUMER NEWS
Arm-Wrestling Machine Recalled After Breaking Arms of Three Users
Will be re-introduced as Arm-Breaking Machine.
 
SPORTS
'08 Olympics Preview: China Bans Spitting
Also belching, farting, sneezing, coughing, yawning.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Canada to Ban Incandescent
Light Bulbs by 2012

Will save enough energy to cool 1500 hockey rinks.
Survey: Seniors Have Sex More Often Than Previously Thought
More often than they remember.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Congress Passes Bill Declaring
National Clean Up After Your Dog Week

In signing statement, Bush abolishes legislative branch of government.
 
FEATURE
While some allege that with all the departures, the White House has lost energy and direction, in fact work goes on there focusing on:
A ) expanding secret spying on U.S. citizens
B ) blocking efforts to crack down on lead paint
C ) limiting the ability of states to expand the Children’s Health Program
D ) planning for endless occupation of Iraq
E ) disenfranchising voters
F ) all of the above
Hint: so many things to do, so little time.

Who pays the lowest rate on income taxes?
A ) Warren Buffett
B ) Warren Buffett's secretary
C ) The janitor who cleans up after them
Hint: only the little people pay taxes.

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