Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 3 - 9, 2007
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MISCELLANEOUS
Giant Spider Web in Texas Draws Curious
Most wisely keep their distance, but President Bush walks right into it.
 
SPORTS
Pro Wrestling World Rocked
By Steroid Scandal

One, possibly more wrestlers may not have taken steroids.
Little League World Series
Disappoints Fans

With betting prohibited and players looking like they could use a shot of andro, many go home early.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Giant Monopoly Game Towed to Persian Gulf
Part of White House effort to spread capitalism throughout Middle East.
FEATURE
According to the latest study, the risk of global-warming related flooding is
  A ) higher
  B ) lower
  C ) the same as previously thought.
  Hint: if you have trouble guessing, we have some oceanfront property you might be interested in.

In a brief resignation statement, Alberto Gonzales insulted:
  A ) the Congress.
  B ) the Constitution.
  C ) the Department of Justice.
  D ) his own father, Pablo Gonzales, a construction worker, who along with his mother Maria raised him and his seven brothers and sisters, for not making enough money.
  Hint: it was a touching, personal statement.

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