Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 22 -28, 2007
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TRAVEL
Athens: Acropolis Being Restored
Major public works project already two thousand years behind schedule.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Profanity in Workplace
Good for Morale

But not so great for company's public image.
Study: Gossip More Powerful
Than Truth

You heard it here first.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: World Series Could Be Played in November
Pitchers, catchers due to report to spring training between sixth and seventh games (if necessary).
 
FEATURE
After running up the biggest national debt in history, Bush lectured the Democratic Congress last week on the subject of:
  A )national security.
  B )intelligent life on the planet Magnon9.
  C )fiscal responsibility.
  Hint: can you spell “chutzpah”?
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Internet to Close
Move takes many by surprise.
 
MAN IN THE STREET
This week we asked independent, undecided voters in New Hampshire:
Q: With the primaries fast approaching, who are you more likely to vote for?
Jules ("Julie") Rudiani, Manchester: "Although Romney looks good in a suit, I'm leaning towards that New York fella who singlehandedly took on the terrorists and the liberal firemen's union. Hello? What? Oh, and his wife's great, too."
Chelsea Hill (Berlin): "It sure would be a fun experiment to have an almost African-American president, but I think this country's craving for a strong, capable woman and, I guess, by process of elimination, the only strong, capable woman in the race is that smart and sexy Hillary Clinton, if I'm not mistaken."
Brock O. Bomma (Nashua): "Personally, I can't stand black people, but when you compare the lackluster choices offered by both parties, this Mr. Obama seems to be the cleanest, most articulate candidate in the bunch."
Mutt Rooney (Concord): "I can't decide between the serial adulterer Giuliani and the family man Romney, but given I have to answer the question, it would be the morally superior Romney."
Edward Johnson (Keene): "First I liked Clinton, then Obama, but then I heard Edwards was going to work hard for all hardworking Americans and bring our troops home as soon as possible and provide affordable health care to all and that kind of tipped the scales ever so slightly for me."

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