Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT. 29 - NOV. 4, 2007
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MISCELLANEOUS
Lock of Che Guevara's Hair Sold for $118,871
To a balding wealthy revolutionary.
Parrot Imitates Fire Alarm,
Saves Family

Imitates car alarm, family kills him.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
“Smart” Shopping Carts Will
Tell Shoppers If They’re Buying
Too Much Junk Food

“Smart” junk food will tell them that they're not.
 
SPORTS
All Major Sports in Action
At Same Time

Steroid labs add staff, extend hours.
Survey: One in Five Fans
Believes in Jinxes

Other four rely on voodoo.
NFL Plays First Regular Season Game in London
Before 80,000 curious hooligans.
FEATURE
What will be the lasting legacy of George W. Bush?
A ) democratizing the Middle East
B ) strengthening the Department of Justice
C ) battling global warming
D ) upgrading disaster management
E ) boosting respect for America overseas
F ) tee-ball on the White House lawn
     Hint: batter up!
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Protestors Levitate Outside White House
Demonstrate opposition to law of gravity.

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