Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 5 - 11, 2007
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NEW PRODUCTS
Handy Document Contains Lots of Interesting Facts
Forget the clumsy syntax and odd references to returning escaped slaves to their owners (it's corrected later), here's a nifty and compact little compendium of rules, regulations and other factoids pertaining to all things American. Don't ignore the later "articles" either, they're quite useful. Great argument settler! Free at most public libraries, government offices.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story
(Fill in the blanks)


A raid by U.S. forces in _____ killed _____ militants and ___ children today. According to the U.S. military, all the dead were members of the ___ militia. But witnesses in _____ reported seeing ____ children and ____ civilians among the dead. After getting a report that members of the ___ militia were in a house in the ____ district, air strikes were called in, and the house and __ nearby houses were destroyed. A military spokesman called the raid further evidence that the United States was winning the war in _____.
FEATURE
In 1947, the United States convicted a Japanese officer, Yukio Asano, of war crimes and sentenced him to 15 years hard labor for:
A ) Being mean
B ) Being an all around bad guy
C ) Waterboarding
Hint: Michael Mukasey, phone home.

The amount of fuel carried by the KC-135 Stratotanker, used to refuel the B-52 bomber in flight, would keep the average family car running for:
A ) one year
B ) 10 years
C ) 62.5 years
Hint: get in the back seat kids, we’re going for a very long ride!
 
TRAVEL
NASA Report: Both Pilots Fell Asleep On Baltimore to Denver Red Eye
Awoke refreshed, ready to land.

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