Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 19 - 25, 2007
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Coming Soon: Cameras With Face-Recognition Technology
Perfect gift for someone going to their high school reunion.
Baseball to Place Asterisk Next to
Every Record Before 1998

All so-called achievements during puny pre-steroid era will be separated from truly awesome numbers put up by today's muscular heroes.
A-Rod Gets $280 Million
Deal From Yanks

Plus percentage of Iraq's oil revenues.
A woman who was gang raped will be punished with a prison term and 200 lashes by:
A ) our ruthless foe, North Korea
B ) our sworn enemy, Iran
C ) our clearest threat, the Empire of Mars
D )our good friend, Saudi Arabia
Hint: When they’ve all had their troubles and parted, We’ll be the same as we started,
    Just travelin’ along,
    Singin’ a song,
    Side by side.
This Week's Question:
Does the 2nd Amendment guarantee individuals the right to carry a deadly weapon?
Jesse James, Famous Outlaw: “I always assumed it did. Besides, how else can you rob a train?”
John Dillinger, Famous Criminal: “'The right of the people to keep and bear arms' applied to forming a militia to prevent tyranny, not allow every nut to walk around with a bazooka.”
Lee Harvey Oswald, Famous Assassin: “Yes, as long as they're responsible and know how to use it.”
Sirhan Sirhan, Famous Prisoner: “If it helps my chances for parole, then no, it does not.”
Arthur Bremer, Famous Parolee: “It's like that picture that looks like birds to some people, fish to others. Me, I see birds.”

 ©  Copyright 2007 Ironic Times