Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOV 26 - DEC 2, 2007
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POLITICS
Democratic Presidential Candidates
Look for Winning Slogan in ‘08

Top contenders: “Something New,” “We Can Fix It,” “Not a Sociopath.”
 
BOOKS
16,000 Formerly Hyphenated Words Lose Their Hyphens in New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary
Certainly no runofthemill change.
Britney Spears's Parents Write Parenting Book
Tentative title: If We Did It.
 
BUSINESS
Wall Street Bonuses Set Record
Things haven't been this good since 1929.
Oil Approaches $100 a Barrel
White House blames Jimmy Carter.
Bad News: 1.5 Million in U.S. Jails, 8-Fold Increase Since 1970
Good news: prison industry only bright spot in otherwise gloomy economy.
SCIENCE
Comet Holmes Expanding, Now Dwarfs Sun in Sky
NASA mulls sending demolition team led by Bruce Willis.
DNA Analysis Proves Neanderthals Capable of Speaking Like Humans
As in, “Hey, sweet thang, wanna see my cave paintings?”
Change in One Gene Turns
Mouse Into Supermouse

Researcher, laughing maniacally, says breakthrough could lead to “race of supermen.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Poll: 66% Agree With Providing Condoms in Schools
Starting in kindergarten.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Amazon Unveils
E-Book Reader

Aimed at people who love to read, but hate books.

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