Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOV 26 - DEC 2, 2007
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PEOPLE
Royals Gather for Family Portrait
 
  Too hung over to attend, Queen, Prince Philip, Prince Charles were represented by wax replicas.
 
HIGH TECH
New Intel Chip's 30 Million Transistors Fit on Head of Pin
Displacing 14 dancing angels.
Study: Internet Could Run Out of Capacity in Two Years
Public advised to buy stamps, read a book, go outside, meet someone, get a life.
 
TRAVEL
1 in 138 Checked Bags is
Lost by Airlines

“That's an astounding 137 out of 138 bags arriving at their proper destination,” marvels industry spokesman.
 
FACTOID
California Spending Three Times More On Prisons Than on Higher Education
And prison guards are better paid than college professors.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Bush Films TV Commercial for Bush's Baked Beans
However, it won't be shown in this country.
HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
This week: what to get the man (or woman) who has everything.
Honus Wagner 1910 Baseball Card
For the true collector in your family. And wait'll you see the surprised look on their face when they discover you've slipped it inside a pack of newer cards, right next to the bubble gum! $3.2 million at House of Cards.
AirBus A380
Your own private jumbo jet. The new A380 is roomy, comfortable and capable of flying you and 800 friends from Dubai to Singapore nonstop. $350 million, at Planes 'n' Things.
The “Mona Lisa”
Not a reproduction but the real thing. Know someone who likes art? Comes complete with frame, bulletproof glass enclosure and round-the-clock armed guards. $950 million (plus s&h), exclusively at the Louvre Museum Store.
Palace of Versailles
Not the original, of course, but an exact replica built on 200 acres of your choosing. Shiny gold, polished marble––the perfect setting for a lavish, decadent party. Staff included. $446 billion, at Just Chateaux.
The Moon
Talk about romantic. And practical. Even with the real estate meltdown, some properties never lose their value. This is one giant leap for gift-giving. Think about it: you'll control the tides! $1 zillion, at Planets, Etc.

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