Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JANUARY 7 - 13, 2008
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
FBI Releases New Info About D.B. Cooper
Mysterious skyjacker (sketch, right) who jumped out of airliner in 1971 with $200,000 in cash is living comfortably in the border region between Pakistan and Afghanistan.
 
HIGH TECH
Government Offers $40 Coupons To Aid Transition From Older TVs
Consumers can use them to buy bricks to throw at new digital TV.
 
SPORTS
Man Watches TV Sports for 29 Consecutive Hours, Wins Couch Potato Title
First three finishers will represent U.S. at Olympics.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders

victory n. 1. the best we could do under the circumstances 2. an acceptable outcome, all things considered 3. a level of violence more or less containable
SPECIAL FEATURE
Al Qaeda’s website announced it will be taking questions for it’s No. 2 leader, Ayman Zawahiri, from individuals and the media. Here’s the first :
Q: Dr. Zawahiri, I’d like to be a holy martyr, because I’ve heard it’s a great way to meet girls. But do I really have to blow myself up?
– Muktadr in Mosul
Ayman: Yes, you do have to blow yourself up, Muktadr. But there is no better way to meet girls than to become a martyr, and better still, once you’ve gone to paradise, you get to party forever and ever with no less than 72 virgins! It’s a pretty good deal.
Send your questions to Ayman Zawahiri, at AskAyman@AlSahab.com
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Chinese Man Marries Himself
Does not plan on having children.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2008 Ironic Times