Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE –FEBRUARY 4 - 10, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Russia: World War II Reenactment Gets Out of Hand
Twenty million dead.
NASA Beams Beatles’ “Across the Universe” into Outer Space
Estimates song will be downloaded infinite number of times.
Training Begun for 103 Secret Service Agents for Bush's Retirement
Not counting prison guards.
75% in U.S. Will Be Overweight
By 2015

The rest will be pleasantly plump.
 
SPORTS
China Chasing Down Dissidents in Preparation for Olympics
Those they can't catch make team.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders

impeach vt (archaic) to charge a public official before a competent tribunal for misconduct in office. (Formerly used in the United States.)
ANALYSIS
Bush's $3 Trillion Budget Provides for Health, Education, Environment
But mainly defense.
 
FACTOID
British Study: People Lie 88,000
Times in Their Lifetime

Even more if they participate in studies.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Marijuana Vending Machines Getting Tryout in LA
Each joint comes with Miranda warnings.
 
STAMPS
Post Office Issues Superhero Stamps
Supervillains will be honored in May.

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