Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2008
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NEW PRODUCTS
New Eyeglass Video System Records Everything You See
It's like having a documentary film crew with you 24/7. If you're a sleepwalker, leave it on at night. Great for amnesiacs. $549, at Rejected Patents for Less.
 
POLITICS
Poll: Nearly Half of Dems Will Vote for McCain if Their Candidate Loses
Three-fourths of Republicans say they'll vote for Democrat if McCain wins.
Clinton Admits She Misspoke
About '96 Bosnia Trip

Wasn't wounded rescuing Chelsea from Serbian forces.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
War, Economy Going Well, Says Bush
Makes comments at ceremony honoring Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny (shown).
SPORTS
Critics Call for “Partial”
Boycott of Olympics

Ask athletes to perform at “about seventy-five percent.”
Baseball: Yankees to Charge $2500 for Some Seats at New Stadium
Each comes with its own vendor.
Japan's Pro Baseball League Shortens Games to Fight Global Warming
Japanese believe global warming is caused by boredom.
 
FACTOID
U.S. 22nd-Most Prosperous Nation
But we don't go around boasting about it.
 
RELIGION
Buddhism Making Inroads in Animal Kingdom
But not with cats.
Stain Removed From Shroud of Turin
Some believe it resembled Jesus.

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