Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 14 - 20, 2008
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PEOPLE
Nude Photo of France's First Lady Sells for $91,000
Most ever paid for photo of naked first lady.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
McCain, Clinton, Obama All
Appear on “American Idol ”

McCain, Obama asked to return.
 
BOOKS
Czech Novelist Wins 8th Kafka Prize
Begins confusing, endless struggle with faceless bureaucracy to claim it.
 
BUSINESS
Consumer Sentiment Hits New Low
Only thing moving off shelves is hemlock.
Starbucks Begins Selling Cheaper, “Everyday” Coffee
From beans harvested by slaves.
3.5 Million Robots Could Be Working In Japan By 2025
Most will be emailing other robots on company time, looking for better jobs.
TRENDS
Study: Husbands Create 7
Extra Hours of Housework
A Week for Wives

Wives spend an additional 3 hours a week complaining about it.
 
SCIENCE
Stonehenge Dig Turns Up New Clues
No specifics, but team leaves immediately for Jupiter.
World's Most Powerful Laser Unveiled
Will be tried out in world's most powerful PowerPoint presentation.
 
CORRECTION
Last week, in describing intense, detailed discussions inside the White House over many weeks that led to government-sanctioned torture, we listed President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, Attorney General John Ashcroft, Secretary of State Colin Powell, CIA Director George Tenet and National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice as all being in attendance. In fact, President Bush, although informed of everything, was not present. We apologize for any confusion.

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