Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 14 - 20, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Zoo Sells Paintings Created by Animals
Doesn't tell buyers.
Nuclear Regulatory Commission
Fines Florida Nuke Plant for
Sleeping Workers

Smithers furious.
Census Bureau to Use Paper, Not Computers in 2010
Critics call for “digital trail” as backup.
Alberto Gonzales Having Trouble Finding Job
Can't recall why.
 
POLITICS
McCain: Hillary, Obama
Promises on Iraq “Reckless”

They’d only stay another 50 years.
 
SPORTS
Olympic Torch Relay Record Broken
By four months.
FEATURE
During last week’s Congressional hearings, John McCain hoped for: “a peaceful, prosperous democratic state that poses no threat to its neighbors and contributes to the defeat of terrorists.” What country was he talking about?
  A )  Iraq in 2012
  B )  United States in 2022
  C ) Pluto in 2024
Hint: things are said to be slowly improving on Pluto.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Camera Device Takes Photo When Subject Smiles
Great for politicians, not so great for funeral directors.
FCC Approves Plan for Cellphone Carriers to Alert Users to Emergencies
Like only two days left for great deal on new cellphones.

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