Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 21 - 27, 2008
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PEOPLE
Dr. Jack Kevorkian to Run for Congress
Rest in Peace Now candidate says, “You shouldn't have to murder someone just to get a lethal injection.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
NBC Creating Shows Built Around Sponsors' Products
In the network pipeline: “Dial or No Dial”; “Everybody Loves Sara Lee”; “CSI: Battle Creek”; “The Kleenex-Files.”
 
TECHNOLOGY
Windows XP Users Angry
At Switch to Vista

Windows 98 users furious at switch to XP.
 
BUSINESS
State Dept. Renews Blackwater Contract
Assumes they got all the wanton killing out of their system.
SCIENCE
Survey: 70% of Teens Accidentally Saw Porn Online, 45% Upset By It
When questioned by parents.
New Study: Men More Forgetful Than Women
Often can’t recall where they put the keys, or that they’re married.
 
Anthropologists Synthesize Neanderthal's Voice
Similar to human's, but can't pronounce "nuclear."
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Experts: Limit Kids' Video Gaming to Two Hours to Prevent Obesity
One hour if you want skinny kids, three for fatties.
Study: Boomers to Flood
Medical System

Advised to smoke, drink, eat a lot, cease all but sudden bursts of strenuous exercise.

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