Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2008
page three

POLITICS
McCain to Address Lack of Health Care Coverage by Promoting “Wellness and Fitness”
After those without coverage die, everyone else will be well and fit.
 
MEDIA
2,400 Full-Time Newspaper
Jobs Lost in ‘07

According to hearsay.
 
BUSINESS
Market for GPS Devices Nearing Saturation
Those who still want them unable to find their way to stores that have them.
Secretary of Energy Opposed to Using Strategic Oil Reserves
Wants to save them for when gas prices are high.
Recession Has Silver Lining
When economy dives, hemlines traditionally rise.
SCIENCE
Study: Human Race Faced Extinction 70,000 Years Ago
Handful of people survived by ignoring problem, shopping more and cutting taxes.
Report: How Much Mom Eats at Time of Conception Determines Child's Sex
Green salad with “lite” ranch dressing – it's a girl; Whopper with jumbo fries, Oreo shake – it's a boy.
 
 
Hawking: Primitive Alien Life May Exist
Aliens demand an end to name-calling.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Men Who Masturbate Frequently Less Likely to Get Prostate Cancer
Study funded by American Cancer Society, Playboy.
Study: “Couch Potato Culture” Causing Americans to Die Sooner
But never miss an episode of “Grey's Anatomy.”

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2008 Ironic Times