Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 5 - 11, 2008, 2008
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HIGH TECH
Pentagon Shows Off Small, Mobile, Remote-Controlled “Killing Machines”
Based on popular toy.
Cuba Puts First Computers on Sale
Consumers line up to get latest models from Commodore, Wang, Atari.
 
MILESTONES
30th Anniversary of First
Spam E-Mail

To celebrate, everyone is asked to either buy cheap meds, increase their penis size or send $300 to a stranger in Nigeria.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Texas Man Arrested Trying to Cash $360 Billion Check
At 7-Eleven.
Last 4 Stealth Bombers Mothballed at Super Secret Nevada Base
Never to be unseen again.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Once the bugaboo of Democrats, Dick Cheney has all but disappeared from the national radar lately. Turns out hes busy as ever, blocking government scientists from protecting the right whale, one of the most endangered species on Earth, in the Atlantic Ocean! The obscure National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is trying to protect the last 350 of these whales by having ships slow down in their feeding and calving areas, but its not too obscure for the Veep! Hes moved to block the new rules, at the behest of the World Shipping Council, a European trade group. When hes not shooting trapped animals from a truck, Dick is staying busy, busy, busy!
 
FACTOID
Australia Has More Cellphones
Than People

Throw another Blackberry on the barbie.
 
LAW
Residents of Greek Island of
Lesbos Sue Gay Group Over
Use of Word “Lesbian”

Friend-of-the-court brief filed by residents of Raging Queen, Ohio.

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