Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 19 - 25, 2008
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PEOPLE
Bush: Stopped Playing Golf Because
Of Iraq War

It was causing him to hook his drives.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Fox's “Secret Millionaire” Will Plant Rich Person in Poor Neighborhood
As slum landlord.
 
PUBLISHING
Playboy Posts Quarterly Loss
Analysts blame smaller breasts.
 
BUSINESS
Wal-Mart Profit Rises on Strong Sales
Of pet food.
Dish Network Profit Soars Despite
New Subscriber Plunge

Credits double-billing.
Mercedes Sales Hurt by Rising Gas Prices
And some design problems.
SCIENCE
Study: Firm Handshake Key to
Successful Job Interview

According to Schwarzenegger Institute.
In Experiment, Male Monkeys
Prefer Boys' Toys

Female monkeys opt for clothes, cosmetics.
 
Methane Emissions, Mostly From Cows, Greater Threat Than CO2
Experts call for massive, sustained barbecue. 
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Listening to Loud Music Daily Leads to Lower Blood Pressure
Advice: cut down on salt, pick up Metallica box set.
More Than 2 Million Teens
Depressed Last Year

Just wait till they try to find a job.

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