Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 16 - 22, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Archeologists Discover Earliest Known Church
Among artifacts, earliest known collection plate.
City of Vallejo, California Bankrupt
Will change name, move to another state.
 
SPORTS
Baseball to Use Instant Replay
But only for home runs, foul balls, stolen bases, pickoff plays, strikes, balls and obscene gestures.
 
TRENDS
“Information Overload” Plaguing Workplace, Says Study
Average 8-hour workday filled with distractions:
 
  Solitaire   1 hr., 40 min.
  Porn sites   1 hr., 20 min.
  Online poker   1 hr., 15 min.
  Online strip poker   1 hr., 10 min.
  Lunch   1 hr.
  Deleting junk e-mail   40 min.
  Sending junk e-mail   30 min.
  Boss key   15 min.
  Work   10 min.
FEATURE
In the statement, “The United States seeks no permanent bases in Iraq,” what is meant by “permanent”?
  A ) permanent
  B ) temporary
  C ) temporary, on a permanent basis
  D ) temporarily forever
Hint: The United States sincerely hopes nobody will read the fine print.
 
TRAVEL
Theme Park Planned for Baghdad
Knott's Green Zone to be built on land presently occupied by U.S. embassy.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Billboards With Tiny Cameras Track Passing Motorists, Passersby
Those who look are followed to see if they buy product, then followed home to see if they use it, then followed back to the store to see if they buy it again or return it.

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