Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 7 - 13, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
  Cheese Rendering of Trumbull's “Declaration of Independence” Recognized
As source of E.coli outbreak
 
POLL
Poll: More Prefer Obama
As Barbecue Guest

More prefer McCain as barbecue guest if he brings the beer.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Mid-Season Report
So far, pitchers dominate as batters struggle with inferior bats, no drugs.
Beijing: Algae Threatens Olympic Sailing Events
May have to be held on land.
FACTOID
Suicides Account for Half of
All Gun Deaths in U.S.

Fortunately, suicidal can now legally own gun to defend themselves against themselves.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Prince Charles Converts His Aston Martin to Run on Cheap Wine
Same thing for Camilla.
 
TRAVEL
Tourism Harming Machu Picchu, Say Experts
They recommend seeing it soon.
 
THIS WEEK'S NEWS IN BRIEF
Hands-Free, Fat-Free
Bear arms, bear market.

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