Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 18 - 24, 2008
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PEOPLE
Hillary to Get Roll Call at Convention
Bill will be named Mr. Congeniality.
Revealed: Julia Child Was World
War II Spy

Stole top-secret recipes from the Nazis.
 
MEDIA
U.S. Media Look to Neocons for Analysis, Advice on Georgia
Because their analysis, advice was so excellent on Iraq.
 
BUSINESS
Revealed: Two-Thirds of Corporations Don't Pay Federal Taxes
"Taxes are for little people," say experts.
Mrs. Fields Cookies Files for Bankruptcy
Ran out of dough.
Rush Limbaugh Receives $400 Million Contract
Could double that with prescription drug endorsements.
SCIENCE
Invisibility Cloak One Step Closer
According to one or more scientists who may or may not have been at press conference announcing it.
Study: Flowers Losing Their Smell Due to Factory Pollution
Urges construction of more perfume factories.
 
New Controversy: Shroud of Turin May Not be Jesus
Latest speculation points to Bigfoot.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Expert: Eating Rats Could Solve World Food Crisis
Obesity crisis as well.
Study: Alcohol Consumption
Declines As People Age

Except in your case.
Maker of Viagra Promotes
Its Use by Women

If clitoral erection lasts longer than four hours see your gynecologist.

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