Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 25 - 31, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Hef Denies Reports He's Adding Fourth Girlfriend
Says he's strictly “a three-woman man.”
Conservatives Angry Over
Hallmark's Gay Marriage Cards

Even angrier over their “Happy Abortion” cards.
 
TECHNOLOGY
New Web Browser From Microsoft to Feature “Privacy Mode”
Only you and Microsoft will have access to your personal data.
Intel Demonstrates New System for Delivering Power Without Plugs, Cords
But you can still trip over magnetic field.
 
SPORTS
Olympics: China Proves it
Can Develop Competitive
Athletes in All Sports

Next, hopes to prove it can develop big, slow, self-centered superstars.
Olympics End With Glorious
Closing Ceremony

Americans will see tape-delayed package of highlights later this week.
FEATURE
The U.S. is currently negotiating a deal with Iraq which calls for withdrawal of American forces according to an agreed-upon:
  A ) timeline
  B ) time horizon
  C ) time gravitational approximation
  D ) time estimatational proximity
Hint: in terms of troops actually leaving, you have to consider time in an Einsteinian context.
 
TRAVEL
Cost of Flying Rose in July
Cost of staying home also rose.
 
LAW
Knights Templar “Heirs” Sue Pope for $160 Billion
But hint they might be amenable to out-of-court settlement.

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