Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 22 - 28, 2008
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PEOPLE
  Five Former Secretaries of State
Urge U.S. to Talk to Iran

McCain: All five “naive and inexperienced.”
Bill Gates Once Again Richest
Man in America

Millions vie to be declared “Poorest.”
 
BUSINESS
Bank Crisis Benefits Some Companies
Simmons, Serta, Spring Air, Stearns & Foster, Sealy Posturepedic and Dux.
25 States Ask MillerCoors to
Drop Caffeine-Infused Alcoholic Energy Drink

Fear “plague” of wide-awake drunks.
Experts: Housing Crisis Far From Over
Predict by 2012 most Americans will live in tents.
SCIENCE
Astronomers Discover Planet With Three Times Earth's Mass
But only a third of its joie de vivre.
Breakthrough: Brain Cells Observed Retrieving a Memory
They work just like machines at dry cleaners that retrieve your clothes.
 
Biologists Identify Ant Species That's Survived for 120 Million Years
All over their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Cellphones May Cause Male
Infertility

Men advised to use landlines before sex.
Study: Residents Working Shorter
Shifts Less Likely to Make
Mistakes During Surgery

Turns out being awake really helps.
New Research Says Eating
Vegetables Shrinks Brain

Study funded entirely by eight-year-olds.

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