Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT 27 - NOV 2, 2008
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CONSUMER NEWS
FDA Approves Device Using Power of Magnetism To Cure Depression
Tested successfully on Wooly Willy (right).
 
TECHNOLOGY
Google Planning Data Barges at Sea
Will circumnavigate globe hauling trillions of junk e-mails.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
DHS Consulted Panel of Sci-Fi
Writers on Counterterror Efforts

Sought help guarding borders with other dimensions.
75% of Americans Say Gays Should Be Allowed to Serve in Military
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
EDUCATION
Saudis Reveal Ambitious Plans for New University
King Abdullah University of Science and Technology (shown) already being touted as world's worst party school.
FEATURE
McCain said that the middle class would be “put through the wringer” if Obama is elected. What’s a wringer?
A ) someone placed on a sports team not from the school or area he’s supposed to be from, or older than the rules allow.
B ) a person used as a hand model by ring makers.
C ) a 19th century hand-cranked devise used to wring the moisture out of clothes.
Hint: if you’ve ever used a wringer, you’re too old to be President.
 
TRAVEL
Study: Inequality in Some Major U.S. Cities Rivals Cities in Africa
Why travel overseas when you can observe the vast gap between rich and poor right here, in the good ol' USA?
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Investment Banks Prepare Year-End
Bonuses Amidst Meltdown

Word on the street: mass layoffs, lobbying successes, infusion of federal cash promise bigger-than-ever bonuses.

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