Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 1 - 7, 2008
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ART
Chinese Artist Creates Van Gogh Out of Leeks
Next up: rhubarb Rembrandt, scallion Picasso.
 
FACTOID
Americans Watching TV Record
8 Hours a Day

Sleeping record 16 hours a day.
 
SPORTS
Move to Make Pole Dancing an Olympic Sport
Would replace pole vault.
Leagues Announce Latest Stadium Name Changes (SEE CHART BELOW)
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Bush Issues Dozens of Tough New Regulations in Final Weeks
Among them:
 
“Emissions from coal-fired power plants must not exceed levels capable of destroying all planetary life for more than 10,000 years.”
“Individuals detained on a battlefield or in a war zone or near a Starbucks must be immediately released if they don't look somewhat suspicious.”
“Warrantless wiretapping of an American citizen on American soil is strictly prohibited without a really good reason.”
“Use of snowmobiles in all national parks is banned, throughout the summer.”
“Torture in all its forms is banned, throughout the summer.”
  New Orleans   FDIC Bowl
  Los Angeles   Federal Reserve Center
  Seattle   U.S. Treasury Dome
  Arlington   Paulson Stadium
  Cincinnati   Bernanke Field
  Milwaukee   Taxpayer Park
  Miami   Troubled Assets Relief Program Arena

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