Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2008
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PEOPLE
Britney Spears, Liza Minnelli Mount Comebacks
It's Britney's third, Liza's twenty-ninth.
Could “the Other” Clinton Replace Hillary in Senate?
“Not interested,” says Chelsea.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Recession-Hit Americans
Flocking to Movies

Most remain in their seats until morning.
 
BUSINESS
Oil Tumbles to $40 a Barrel,
Gas Hits New Low

Hummer sales go through the roof.
Wall Street Journal: Men Spending Less on Mistresses
Many laid off.
  Big Three CEOs Ask for $34 Billion
Get $15 billion and bus fare home.
SCIENCE
Study: Sex With Partner 400%
Better Than Sex With Self

Sex with self 400% better than no sex at all.
 
 
Stash of 2700-Year-Old Marijuana Discovered in Gobi Desert
At least that's what archeologists told police.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
One in Five Young Adults Has Personality Disorder
Low percentage surprises parents.
Study: Happiness is Infectious
But there are defenses.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
“Impeach Bush” Ornament Deemed Inappropriate for White House Tree
Also “Behead Cheney” ornament (not shown).

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