Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 22 - 28, 2008
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PEOPLE
French First Lady Carla Bruni Wins Damages For Nude Handbags
(Right) Speaking to reporters outside courthouse.
Ed McMahon Won’t Leave Foreclosed Home
Expects to win Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
French Court Allows Les Miserables Sequels
Green light for Les Very Miserables, Les Completely Miserables and Les Totally Miserables.
 
BUSINESS
Few Startups in This Gloomy Economy
And yet, Apple Mary Industries raises $40 million in initial public offering.
Flame, New Men's Cologne by Burger King Joins Crowded Field
Must compete with Grilled by Wendy's, Fried by McDonald's and Steamed by White Castle.
SCIENCE
Scores of New Species Discovered in Greater Mekong Delta
All of them scrumptious.
NASA: 2 Trillion Tons of Ice
Melted Since 2003

Global warming skeptics blame polar bear flatulence.
 
 
Ancient Art Shows Women Were Style-Conscious 7,500 Years Ago
Said they had “nothing to wear” before they had clothes.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Canadians Healthier Than Americans
But Canadians must suffer under the yoke of socialized medicine.
Sarcasm Used to Detect Dementia
Yeah, right.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, replying to a letter from an eight-year-old girl who wanted to know if there really is a Santa Claus, we wrote, “No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus, just a jovial mascot used mostly to promote commercial products.” The girl's name is Virginia. We apologize for the error.

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