Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – JANUARY 5 - 11, 2009
page three

PEOPLE
Franken “Wins” Pending Legal Challenge
Coleman sends old Franken videos to Supreme Court justices.
Former Attorney General Gonzales Writing White House Memoir
Working title: I Can't Recall.
 
INTERNET
Latest Plague: Personalized Spam
Which is why you get those Viagra ads.
Serious Browser Flaw Puts
All E-Commerce at Peril

Public advised to buy pornography in person until flaw is fixed.
 
BUSINESS
Yugo Ends Production
Leaves GM, Ford, Chrysler as only remaining makers of clunkers.
SCIENCE
Study: Nearly Everyone Can
Carry a Tune

Except while listening to music on headphones.
Theory: Diamonds Formed 12,900 Years Ago Indicate Meteor Impact Ending Age of Mammoths, beginning Age of Bling.
 
Black Hole Found in Our Galaxy
At site of last Hadron Collider.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Teenagers Who Take
Abstinence Vows Just as
Likely to Have Sex

As teenagers who take promiscuity vows.
Overthinking May Slow Onset
Of Dementia

Constantly thinking about dementia could prevent it entirely.
Study: Obese Kids Have Arteries of 45-Year-Olds
Conclusion: 15 is the new 45.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2009 Ironic Times