Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 5 - 11, 2009
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MISCELLANEOUS
Postal Service Announces Set of TV-Themed Stamps for 2009
 
  Note: collecting stamps and watching TV are hobbies enjoyed by Americans of an earlier era.
English to Reach 1 Million
Words by April

Predicted one millionth word: millionomania, n. the state of being obsessed with the one millionth of anything.
 
SPORTS
NFL: Eighteen Coaches Fired
Other twelve reach playoffs.
Hot Stove League: Only Journeymen, Wack Jobs Still Available
Bench-sitters, head cases already signed.
World Chess Championship Begins
Shown: live webcam coverage of match.
FEATURE
Obama takes office facing:
A ) two wars, economic meltdown.
B ) three wars counting Gaza, economic collapse.
C ) four wars counting Pakistan, economic Armageddon.
Hint: is that a cloud, or a seven-headed fire breathing dragon descending from the sky?
 
TECHNOLOGY
New iPhone App Makes
Fake Calls to You

Another app answers fake calls.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
WinePod, World's First Home Winery Hits Stores
Not shown: MoonShinePod, world's first home distillery.

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