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Ironic Times

 NO. 435 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 12 - 18, 2009 

Jan 5
Jan 19
 
My Turn
by
George W. Bush
  Today, as I'm about to leave office, I thought it would be a good idea to list a few of the notable achievements of my administration over the last eight years.
  We cut taxes for the most productive, creating jobs and wealth for everyone.
  We spread democracy to the Middle East.
  We made sure victims of natural disasters never waited more than a week for help to arrive.
  We brought sound hunches and intuition to national science policy.
  We kept a close eye on the questionable activities of our fellow citizens.
  We protected this country from attack, after only one minor slip-up.
  There's so much more, but I'll leave that to the historians.
 
  OBAMA, PRESIDENTS MEET PRIVATELY IN OVAL OFFICE
They tell him who shot Kennedy.
 
WORLD NEWS
Report: Afghanistan Riddled With Bribery, Corruption
And that's the good guys.
 
U. S. NEWS
Obama Proposes Huge Stimulus Plan
To get Americans borrowing again.
Bush Creates Monuments Protecting Deepest Part of Pacific Ocean
Hopes to dump his papers there.
Pentagon Recruiting With “Army Experience” Video Arcade Centers
Games so realistic they cause PTSD.
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