Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 6 - 12, 2009
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PEOPLE
Michelle Obama Touches Queen Elizabeth
Breaking with longstanding practice established by Prince Philip.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
CBS Pulls Plug on “Guiding
Light” After 72 Years

Audience's average age was deceased.
 
BUSINESS
Fannie, Freddie to Pay
$210 Million in Retention Bonuses

Would hate to see companies fall into hands of irresponsible incompetents.
Maker of Scotch Tape, Post-It
Notes Cuts 1,200 Jobs

Pink Post-It slips went out Friday.
GM CEO Rick Wagoner Rudely Ousted
Given $20 million, told to get the hell out.
SCIENCE
Robot Named Adam Makes Independent Scientific Discovery
Finds there's “something about” robot named Eve.
 
Mathematical Study: Poker More Skill Than Luck
Mathematicians reveal findings in Las Vegas, where they also ask for financial help to return home.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Rocket Fuel Found in Baby Formula
Perchlorate also found in Colorado River water, breast milk and you.
Coffee Lessens Pain of Exercise
Have cup before next painful workout, or have cup, skip painful workout.
Study: Playing Video Games May Improve Your Vision
At the very least you'll be better able to spot and destroy fast-approaching alien warriors before they destroy you.

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