Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APR 27 - MAY 3, 2009
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PEOPLE
Liz Cheney Defends Harsh Interrogation
Says she was waterboarded and slammed into walls as a child “with no lasting effect.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Survey: Only 52% See TV as Necessity
Lowest figure since it was unveiled at 1939 World's Fair.
 
MEDIA
NY Times Cuts Travel,
Fashion Sections

Changes slogan to “All the news that fits.”
 
BUSINESS
Crisis as Top Talent Leaves
Big Banks

To spend more time with their bonuses.
ExxonMobil Passes Wal-Mart As #1 on Fortune 500
Thanks to everyone who drives to Wal-Mart.
SCIENCE
Giant Mystery Blob From Dawn
Of Time Took 12.9 Billion
Light Years to Get Here

For its 15 minutes of fame.
Mind-Reading Device Sends
First Twitter Message

“Why am I doing this?”
Earth-Sized Planet Discovered Circling Nearby Star
Just in time.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Online Help Replacing Counseling, Therapy
And WikiShrink doesn't cost $150/hour.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Scientist Blames Fat People
for Increased Food Production,
Global Warming

Fat people say scientists are to blame.
 
ARCHEOLOGY
Egypt: 3,000-Year-Old Fortified City Made to Impress Visitors Unearthed
Huge walls, elaborate temples, surrounded by monorail, ample parking.

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