Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – MAY 11 - 17, 2009
page three

PEOPLE
Berlusconi's Wife Seeks Divorce
On grounds he passed forged documents to the Pentagon purporting to prove Saddam Hussein tried to purchase uranium from Niger, and for having a very public affair with an 18-year-old.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
New Star Trek About Period Before TV Series Began
Before original stars got big heads from cultists' attention and became grotesque parodies of themselves.
 
BUSINESS
Obama Cracks Down on
Offshore Tax Havens

Wants taxpayer money, used to bail out banks who then loaned it to multinational corporations who then hid it in offshore tax havens, returned.
Boston Globe to Fold
Luckily, city has network of horsemen to warn of imminent danger.
SCIENCE
Increased Solar Storms May
Threaten Electrical Grids, GPS,
Cell Phones

And more importantly, ESPN.
 
 
Face of Earliest European Reconstructed From Skull Fragments
Next task: getting him to talk.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Teens Cutting Back on Proms
As a result, expect to read about fewer grisly prom night murders.
Latest Study: Obesity in U.S.
Due to Overeating

Cause of obesity everywhere else still a mystery.
 
CORRECTION
 
In an account of the recent talks in Washington we misidentified Hamid Karzai as President of Kabul, and Asif Ali Zardari as President of Islamabad. They are in fact the presidents of Afghanistan and Pakistan. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2009 Ironic Times