Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 8 - 14, 2009
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PEOPLE
Italy's Berlusconi Denies Affair With 17-Year-Old
Also denies affairs with 18-year-old, 19-year-old, 20-year-old.
Susan Boyle Rises, Falls, Spends Time in Rehab
Says she's ready for her comeback.
 
BUSINESS
Wal-Mart Says It Will Create
22,000 Jobs In ‘09

Tearing down Wal-Mart stores.
Hummer Purchased by Firm in China
Where they'll be sold as housing.
 
SPACE
Study: Long-Distance Space Travel Will Make Us Short, Fat And Bald
Future science fiction movies will depict astronauts as looking less like actors, more like their agents.
SCIENCE
Study: 3-Year-Olds Neither
Plan for Future Nor Live
Completely in Present

Mainly preoccupied with old resentments accumulated in past lives.
Study: Great Apes, Humans Inherited Laughter from Common Ancestor Who Lived 10 Million Years Ago
Told first homo erectus joke.
 
 
Scientists Show Green-Glowing Monkeys Can Give Birth to Green-Glowing Babies
Result has no practical value they say, but is “way cool!”
 
18,000-Year-Old Broken Crockery Found in China May Be World’s Oldest
Result of world’s oldest domestic spat.
Boys With “Warrior Gene” More Likely to Join Gangs
Boys with “worrier gene” more likely to
join chess clubs.

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