Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 15 - 21, 2009
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PEOPLE
Donald Trump Fires Controversial Miss California
Restoring high moral purpose to the Miss Universe organization.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Hollywood, With No Sequels,
Faces Tough Summer

Industry insiders fear moviegoers won't pay to see something they haven't already seen before.
 
MEDIA
Campers Protest Digital TV Switch
Unable to watch TV in nation’s quietest, most beautiful places.
 
BUSINESS
Burger King Franchise in South Debunks Global Warming
Later fined for selling burgers made with baloney.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Right-Wing Fears Borne Out
First Gitmo detainee brought to U.S. escapes from maximum security prison, steals nuclear weapon, hijacks stealth bomber.
SCIENCE
Chimps Learned to Use Tools to Extract Honey
Man has yet to learn how to extract honey without making an unholy mess.
Earth May Collide With
Venus in 3.5 Billion Years

Plan accordingly.
 
 
Shocker: Pinot Noir Grape's DNA More Complex Than Human DNA
Has Intelligent Design advocates scratching their heads.
 
First New Element in 5 Years
Added to Periodic Table

It's Ng, for nougat.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
$2.5 Billion Gov't. Study: Alternative Medicines No Better Than Placebos
Study hailed by makers of placebos.
Gout, “Disease of Kings,”
Showing Up in Middle Class

Sign economy is improving.
Report: Computers Causing
More Injuries

Mainly due to people punching them.

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