Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 6 - 12, 2009
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POLITICS
Coleman Concedes Senate Race
Anxious to begin new career as irreverent political satirist.
 
MEDIA
Penguin Cancels Sanford Book
About Fiscal Conservatism

But will go ahead with his Sex Tours of South America.
 
BUSINESS
Bad News: Top Bond Fund Says
Fear Still Guiding Investors

Good news: greed will eventually return.
Unexpected Drop in Consumer
Confidence

Follows surprising surge, perplexing slide, confusing increase, astonishing plunge, unanticipated rise, shocking fall.
Burger King Denies Ad Suggestive
Counters that you have a dirty mind.
SCIENCE
Research: Women Process
Beauty With Entire Brain,
Men Only with Right Side

Use left side to calculate cost.
 
 
Computer Can Instantly Identify “Handwriting” on Ancient Tablets
Tablet on right was written by Og.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Daily Sex Makes for Healthier Sperm
According to survey of 100,000 men.
Suicide Warning Issued for 2 Anti-Smoking Drugs
Keep smoking until advised otherwise.
Study: Even Cockroaches Get
Fat on Unhealthy Food

Did somebody say McDonald's?
Patients Enrolled in Drug Study Not Informed About Potential Dangers of Drug, Including Death
Researchers say there just wasn’t time.

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