Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 13 - 19
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ENTERTAINMENT
Coming Soon: First Movie Version of TV's “Baywatch”
Took years for producers to find the right script.
 
PEOPLE
New Book Claims Torrid Affair Between Bobby Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy
And every other Kennedy.
Book: Bin Laden Visited U.S. for 2 Weeks in Summer of 1979
Drove cross-country with family to visit Wally World, but it was closed.
 
MEDIA
Nielsen: Kids Spending
More Time Online

Less time meeting sexual predators in person.
 
BUSINESS
Bulls Return to Wall Street
Forty-two injured.
SCIENCE
British Scientists Create
Human Sperm in Laboratory

With nothing more than a men's magazine.
Study: Self-Control Not
Natural in Humans

Based on 35,000-year study.
Organ Transplant Drug Extends
Life of Older Mice

When given to cats.
 
NASA: Plasma Burst From Sun Could Wipe Out Earth's Power Grid
Another good reason to put all your money into canned goods.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Low-Cal Diet Extends Life of Monkeys
Chimps advised to eat fewer bananas.
 
CORRECTION
 
We recently reported that when Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus visited Albany, New York, three tigers escaped and injured several state lawmakers. In fact, it was the lawmakers who escaped and injured the tigers. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.

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