Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 3 - 9, 2009
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PEOPLE
Kate Middleton's Tattooed, Cocaine- Snorting Uncle a Royal Headache
He doesn't approve of his niece marrying Prince William.
 
MEDIA
Newspaper Publishers Will
Beat Analysts’ Profit Forecast
Due to Cost Cuts

According to bloggers.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Wall Street Firms Gave Out $32 Billion in Bonuses
Correction: You Gave Out $32 Billion in Bonuses.
New Jersey to More Than Double Solar Power Generation
Once deal finalized with Mafia, rabbis.
Verizon to Cut 8,000 Jobs
All of them in one building in Bangalore.
SCIENCE
Entirely New State of
Matter Created in Lab

No decision yet on how to market it.
World Running Out of Fish
And fish stories.
 
 
Evolution Causing Only Women to Become More Attractive
Men just getting hornier.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Organic Foods No Healthier,
Says Study

Detects no ill effects from ingesting pesticides, preservatives, artificial colors, hormones, additives, antibiotics, genetically modified biomatter.
Blue Food Dye No. 1 May
Help Limit Damage in Spinal
Cord Injuries

It's found naturally in birthday cake.

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