| PEOPLE |
 |
 Kate
Middleton's Tattooed, Cocaine-
Snorting Uncle a Royal Headache
He doesn't approve of his niece
marrying Prince William. |
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| MEDIA |
|
Newspaper Publishers Will
Beat Analysts’ Profit Forecast
Due to Cost Cuts
According to bloggers. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Report: Wall Street Firms
Gave Out $32 Billion in Bonuses
Correction: You Gave Out $32 Billion in
Bonuses. |
|
New Jersey to More Than
Double Solar Power Generation
Once deal finalized with Mafia, rabbis. |
|
 Verizon
to Cut 8,000 Jobs
All of them in one building in
Bangalore. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Entirely New State of
Matter Created in Lab
No decision yet on how to market it. |
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World Running Out of Fish
And fish stories. |
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| |
 Evolution
Causing Only Women to
Become More Attractive
Men just getting
hornier. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Organic Foods No Healthier,
Says Study
Detects no ill effects from
ingesting pesticides, preservatives,
artificial colors, hormones, additives, antibiotics,
genetically modified biomatter. |
|
Blue Food Dye No. 1 May
Help Limit Damage in Spinal
Cord Injuries
It's found naturally in birthday cake. |
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