Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 31 - SEP 6, 2009
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PEOPLE
$260 Million Powerball Winner: Money Won't Change Him
Although he's buying condo on space station.
 
MEDIA
Glenn Beck Loses More Advertisers
White Citizens Council, American Nazi Party, KKK pull spots.
Study: Beer, Liquor Heavily
Promoted on TV Programs
Teenagers Watch

Cites shows like “Chug-a-Lug High“ and “So You Think You Can Drink.“
Senate Bill Gives President Power to Seize Control of Internet
He can declare “Cybersecurity Emergency“ whenever White Sox home page loads too slowly.
 
BUSINESS
England: Company Agrees to Withdraw Suggestive Candy Wrappers
But won't remove powerful aphrodisiac from candy's ingredients.
SCIENCE
Report: Ozone Being Destroyed by Our Use of Nitrous Oxide
Concludes we'll all die laughing.
Engineers: 100,000 Artificial
Trees Could Soak Up Harmful
Auto Emissions

And get rid of annoying woodpeckers.
 
4500-Year-Old Mystery Solved: Great Pyramid Built From Inside Out
By immigrants willing to do work Egyptians wouldn't do.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Bad News: Job Insecurity Worse for Your Health Than Unemployment
Good news: you're unemployed.
Americans Consume 22 Teaspoons of Added Sugar Per Day
But we balance it with equal amounts of fat, salt.
  Study: Those Deeply in Debt
Twice as Likely to be Obese

Eating themselves out of debt didn’t work.
CDC Recommends Circumcision
For All Baby Boys

Part of Cash for Foreskins program.

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