Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 31 - SEP 6, 2009
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MISCELLANEOUS
China Sets World Record for Most People Dying Hair at Same Time
1.3 billion participated.
Japan: Osaka Residents Scratching Heads Over Giant Robot
Not sure if it's ingenious art installation or threat to all humanity.
Dollar Rises Sharply Against
Other Currencies

After report that 90% of U.S. paper money has traces of cocaine.
 
SPORTS
Another Dog Fighting Season Begins Without Michael Vick
He's reportedly playing pro football.
Phils' Infielder Pulls Off
15th Unassisted Triple
Play in Baseball History

Simultaneously spits, scratches, picks nose with no help from teammates.
FEATURE
Some economists are predicting a “double-dip recession,” a situation in which business activity declines again after a very slight improvement. Other possibilities include:
  A ) a triple-dip, or quadruple-dip recession
  B ) a full-scale Depression with sprinkles on top
  C ) a frozen banana republic on a stick
Hint: Many economists are already looking for part-time work as soda jerks.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Crypt Directly Above Marilyn
Monroe for Sale on Ebay for
$500,000

Note: you must be dead to move in.
Iceland: Breidamerkurjokull Glacier Melting Away
Used to have much longer name.

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