Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 19 - 25, 2009
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NEW PRODUCTS
Who Needs Boswell? A Camera That Records Your Entire Life!
With this baby everything you see, and quite a bit you don't, is on the record and easily accessed. Indispensable for memoirs, divorce cases and paternity suits. $249, at Paranoia Shack.
 
HIGH TECH
New Device Can See Through Walls
Great for use in shower when you want to see who's on other side of wall looking at you.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Sperm Bank in California Offering Celebrity Look-Alike Donors
So in 20 years your child may look something like someone who was briefly famous 20 years earlier.
Study: Cats Do Control Humans
Blame your cat for global warming.
ART
Fingerprints Prove Portrait of Young Woman is Genuine Leonardo
Leonardo DiCaprio.
FACTOID
Hummer Drivers Receive 5 Times as Many Tickets as Other Drivers
Statisticians attribute it to karma.
 
MILESTONES
Rev. Moon Marries 20,000 Couples Who Just Met
Not shown: 20,000 divorce lawyers.
 
SPORTS
NFL Rejects Limbaugh as Rams' Owner
Cites “no bloviators” clause in NFL charter.

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