Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 21 - 27, 2009
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PEOPLE
Obama Appears on Pro Wrestling Special
Promises free medical coverage for those suffering from years of steroid abuse.
 
MUSIC
Newly Discovered Mozart Pieces Have Musicologists Excited
After transcribing them to modern instruments and adding a rap track they could have some value.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Study: We Spend More Time In Front of Screens Than Any Other Activity
Mostly watching other people being active.
 
BUSINESS
Campbell's to Cut Sodium in Spaghettios by 35%
Thus saving millions of lives.
SCIENCE
Canadian Porn Study Canceled When Researchers Can't Find Control Group Who Don't Watch Porn
Turns out there's not much else to do up there.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Teen Attitude on Harmful Effect of Marijuana “Softening”
Experts blame facts.
Study: Parents Wait Too Long to Discuss Sex With Kids
Current age of kids when sex discussed: 30, recommended age: 7.
 
SPORTS
AP Names Tiger Woods “Athlete of the Decade”
Formula used: Number of Championships – Number of Mistresses 2.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Toothpick Once Owned by Charles Dickens Auctioned for $9,150
Just another reminder to NEVER THROW ANYTHING OUT!

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