Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 18 - 24, 2010
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PEOPLE
Obama Has “Secret Vault” in New York Under Interpol's Control
According to Glenn Beck, who's sending Chuck Norris to wrest it from Interpol and bring it back to open on his show, undoubtedly revealing: Obama's Kenyan birth certificate, the Communist Manifesto and a detailed diagram of Glenn Beck's house.
 
MEDIA
Sarah Palin Joins Fox News
Where she provides needed gravitas.
 
BUSINESS
Domino's Debuts New Crust By Slamming Old Crust in Unusual Ads
Calls longtime Domino's customers “morons” who “wouldn't know good pizza if it hit them.”
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Invisible Men Gather for Annual Meeting
Despite bad weather.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Watching TV Shortens Lifespan
According to 12-part PBS series.
Experts: Obesity Leveling Off
Number of Americans who can't see their feet remains unchanged.
U.S. Alleges Kickbacks
For Drug Which Increased
Death Risk for Elderly

Still, ask your doctor if Resperdal is right for you.
 
Bigger Butt Improves Health, Say Scientists
On “Oprah.”
 
Study Reveals Ginkgo Biloba Does Not Aid Memory
Except for remembering how much you spent on Gingko biloba.
Tylenol, Motrin, Rolaids Recall Follows Reports of Nausea, Vomiting, Diarrhea
If symptoms persist, public advised to take Tylenol, Motrin, Rolaids.
Study: Telling Boss What You Think of Them Can Be Good for Your Health
You didn't need that job anyway.

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